Sadie's Stories - a time of discoveries

This is a difficult post for me to write and also an important one. There are sometimes confusing moments in our parenting journey. We wonder how we got where we are. We have to face hard truths. And when we do, we discover rare beauties that we were missing.

As you will remember from a previous post, I purposed to take the time to read stories to Sadie all by herself for school. We have been enjoying our reading time tremendously.  So far we have read:

• The Poky Little Puppy
• Scuffy the Tugboat
• Little Bear
• Frog and Toad Together
• The Tawny Scrawny Lion
• The Animals of Farmer Jones

Most of these stories can be found in A Treasury of Little Golden Books.

Our reading time has done a very important thing for Sadie. She has been brought to the forefront of my life. Previously, she was child #4, with many mannerisms and habits I didn't understand, sometimes lost in the shuffle. I love her so much, but I'll admit that sometimes she was a source of frustration as well. She screamed over the tiniest things, used animal noises instead of words, and flung her arms around in a very odd way. As a mother, something didn't seem right to me. But I was unable to put my finger on anything specific. She didn't even crawl until about a year old, and at 4, even I couldn't understand everything she was saying. I couldn't understand the grunts and moans either.

YHVH has been gently tugging me for the last few weeks, about the time that we have been reading stories together. He has been encouraging me to do some research, to find out if maybe there is something I need to know about Sadie. He led me to a very unexpected place, but the more I read the more it seemed to fit. It looked like perhaps Sadie was struggling with asperger's syndrome or PDD. When I found out that my cousin had been diagnosed with PDD many years before, the pieces started coming together. We discovered that his treatment involving a special school among other things, had left him frustrated and ill equipped for life. The "professionals" can offer no cure, no medication.

After prayer, we feel the best help we can give Sadie is not a diagnosis, but a strong supportive family that will meet her where she is, whether she "officially" has asperger's or not. At the very least, we have a framework with which to understand her. When she crawls up in my lap and starts barking at me, I try to encourage her to use words to tell me what she needs. I try to give her a little extra love when she starts grunting and flailing her arms in frustration. We try to show a little more patience when she screams about the things that seem little to us. We have also begun a journey to change our diet. (Thank you Lusi, for the link.)

Suddenly, that time of reading and cuddling with Sadie has become a lifeline for us both. She gets so excited to point out farmer Jones in the picture. She tells me how the poky little puppy is going to dig under the fence again! We laugh together and snuggle and for a few moments, there is peace and calm and safety for her. We pray that with purposeful loving parenting, her days will be easier and she will learn to tell us all the amazing things that are going on in her head.

"Your child was made just right. Your child is beautiful. Your child does
not have defects and “problems.” Look at your child as being fearfully and
wonderfully made. Why am I saying this? Because sometimes we get
frustrated with our children. Sometimes we ask ourselves, “What is wrong
with them?” We need a fresh perspective. We need to be reminded that
YHVH made our child just right. Yes, they need work and training, but look
into their eyes and see what YHVH sees. Look at what they can become.
They are a diamond in the rough. Show them that they are just as valuable
as a diamond to you."

 

from The Children's Ketubbah Project

Our daughter is beautiful and wonderful, an excellent dancer. She loves to trace and color, and play with her little toy animals. She has a great smile and loves to help me with little jobs around the house. YHVH made her just right. She just needs a bit of extra help along the way.

How to rejoice when the car breaks down

When the unexpected happens, it is hard to rejoice. It is hard to be happy when you pull into a parking lot and discover that you have no steering. That is what happened to me today. But, Praise Yah, He helped me to rejoice in the middle of it.

This morning, Doug had the great idea that I go to town and pick out a new kitchen faucet. Our is dripping so badly that it can fill a 16 qt stockpot overnight. My mother in law was very sweet to offer to buy me a new one. So I found myself in a rare position. I went to town with my mil and only Elisha and Noah. Wow! We pulled into the Home Depot parking lot and suddenly I could not steer! I wrestled with the steering wheel and managed to get into a parking spot. What now?

1. The first step in a crisis is to not think too far ahead. If you begin entertaining what ifs? and whys? you will not be able to rejoice because you have just entered a panic zone. Stay out of the panic zone and take things as they come.       

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.  (Mat 6:34)


I chose to not borrow trouble and walked right into Home Depot and picked out a faucet. It's a gooseneck faucet, by the way! Doug and I are going to install it tomorrow hopefully.

2. Make people want to help you. If you give in to the flesh and start ranting, raving, complaining, and otherwise spewing your emotions on innocent bystanders, no one is going to stay around to help. Put your chin up and smile.

 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.  (Pro 18:24)


We chose to engage in cheerful conversation on our long hike across two parking lots to the auto parts store. We smiled as we went in, and I calmly explained the situation to find out what needed to be done. To my delight, the salesman offered to walk back to my car and take a look! He then walked back to the store and sold me some steering fluid. He hiked back and poured it in, and hiked back again when it didn't work. I never even asked.

3. Find something to be thankful for. It can be a little thing, but find something and bring it to the front of your thoughts. Thankfulness is an enemy of negative thinking.

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of YHVH in Yahshua the Messiah concerning you.  (1Th 5:18)


We chose to be thankful that we went to Home Depot first. If we had stopped at Walmart first, the hike would have been very difficult. We were thankful we had only brought two kids instead of six. We were thankful for the lone orange we found way out in the parking lot. We joked that we may need it if it takes a while to get home. Looking for the little positive things helped us to rejoice.

4. Be on guard. Satan likes to poke his head into our affairs whenever he can. He wants to see you stumble and fall. He can make a mockery of you through your conduct. 

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:  (1Pe 5:8)
 
Whoopsie! I forgot this one! I got a bit upset with my husband because I felt he wasn't compassionate enough about our situation. Next time I must be more on guard.

5. Be ready to overcome. Sometimes we still have to take the mountain, because YHVH chooses not to move it out of our way.

Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest.  (Jos 1:7)
 
I had to be very brave. The hose was busted. The fluid simply poured out on the ground. I had everything arranged for my dad to come fix it, only to find out that the part would have to be ordered. So I chose to have courage and walk back to my car and drive it home. Turns out, it's really not so bad once you get the hang of it. Surprisingly, a moving car steers much easier than a parked car. And isn't that true in any scary situation. Once you start moving, each step is easier than the last.     

So, Praise YHVH, I lost my steering today, but I still had plenty of reasons to rejoice.

What about you? How do you keep your chin up on bad days? How do you rejoice under pressure?                 
             

Can we obey 98% of the time?

As we enter into the fall feasts, we are given a wonderful opportunity to evaluate ourselves.  We need to look in the dark corners of our closets, peek under the cupboards, organize that high shelf.

So it is at this time that I ask the question:

Am I obeying YHVH 98% of the time?

Yahshua said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."  (Luk 9:62)


We have chosen to follow the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. We have studied Torah to learn His ways. But is there something lacking? Did we, in our haste, leave off that 2%? Have we rationalized and made excuses to protect that 2%? Does the 2% even matter?

I think the 2% does matter to YHVH.

• Achan only took a coat, some silver, and gold. What was that among all the treasures of Jericho? Probably less than 2%, yet it cost the lives of 36 men, and Achan and his family were stoned.
• Lot's wife only looked back at Sodom for a moment, surely not a long time, but as a result she turned into a pillar of salt.
• Saul only offered one sacrifice when he shouldn't have. That's not a big deal. But it cost him the kingdom.
• David only had one moment of passion, surely less than 2% of his life, but it cost him a child.

My fellow believers, the 2% matters! We must always be seeking to shed that last 2% and follow with our whole hearts. We cannot continue to say, "Look at all I'm doing right" while we hide the disobedience under the rug.

Do we eat kosher 98% of the time? But the other 2% is ingredients on the soup can that we choose to ignore.

Do we dress appropriately 98% of the time, except when it's inconvenient or when no one will see us?

Do we keep the Feasts and Shabbat, but delay dealing with trickier commands like the niddah laws?

Do we talk about our obedience and the things we have learned and forget to help those around us? Have we forgotten the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and faith?

But that's legalism!

Just a question: What is the opposite of legalism? Logic would dictate that the opposite is illegalism. So the question is whether we are obeying (legalism) or not obeying (illegalism).

The real question here is the heart. Are we busily occupied trying to take care of our 2% or are we demanding that everyone else deal with their 2%, while ignoring our own? 

Torah is very clear on what is expected of us. Sometimes we don't understand, and must lean on the Ruach HaKodesh. We have so much to learn and so much to put into practice. We obey our Heavenly Father because we love Him, just like a little child delights in pleasing their daddy. We are not saved by our works, but we work because we are saved. But let us not assume that we have arrived and are doing all we ought. We have put our hand to the plow. Let us not turn back from the plow, and let us not stand still looking at the plow. We must move forward, always seeking that 2%, that bit of obedience that is yet elusive. There is always room for us to grow closer to our Father. If we are truly seeking to serve YHVH 100%, when would we possibly have time to judge others for their 2%?

May we all grow closer to YHVH in this precious feast time! (I'm off to try to deal with my own 2%.)

Shalom!

Psalm 17:8

Psalm 17:8

"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings."

I love finding word pictures in Scripture. Sometimes I have to dig a little into the Hebrew to find them. Sometimes they are right in front of me. This verse immediately makes me think of chickens.

I remember hearing a story when I was little about a barn burning down. A hen had recently hatched a lovely little brood of fluffy chicks. Unable to escape the barn, she created a tent over her chicks with her wings. When going through the debris, the barn owner found the mother hen. Her wings were still spread over her chicks. Even in death she was faithful to protect them. As he lifted the hen, out came all her little chicks, completely sheltered from the fire.

I don't know if this is a true story or not, but the picture is clear and beautiful. This is the kind of protection that YHVH promises to give to us. He will put His wings over us and shelter us from life's blasts. We may feel the heat of the fire, but He stands between us and the blast.

Praise YHVH!

Thoughts on the Old Testament

I have been reading through the Bible in 90 days. I have never done this before, and I am awed by what I am seeing. YHVH preserved His truth and His people, even when they did very wicked things and left Him. He preserved their geneology, so they would know who they were when their hearts returned to Him. He preserved His commands, so they could follow Him once again. For as quickly as they turned away from Him, they would repent and return and find forgiveness once again. Thanks to His preservation, when their hearts would return, they were able to restore the Levitical priesthood, proper worship in the temple, feast days, and proper offerings.

As I was reading about Ezra and Nehemiah and how they returned to Jerusalem from Assyria, my heart cried out. How long until we can return? When will we be able to rebuild what is broken? He is turning our hearts back to Him. He will restore all things as He has done before. The only question is how long. It doesn't matter if we are direct descendants or choose to join the direct descendants, He freely forgives when we repent and turn to Him. May our hearts first repent of the our own wickedness and the wickedness of our fathers, and then turn to wholly obey Him. As He sees our repentance, may He begin the restoration of all things.

The miracle of birth and the feasts

It is truly remarkable how YHVH knits together a baby in the womb. Everything happens right on schedule with precision. The tiny hands and feet are carefully and perfectly developed. Zola Levitt found a beautiful correlation between fetal development and the Biblical feasts. I would encourage you to read the whole article here. I am sure you will be fascinated at our Creator's amazing wisdom and design.
And while you are there, check out El Shaddai ministries. I have enjoyed listening to the Torah teachings from previous years on Friday nights when I have a bit of quiet.