What is my blog about? It's about Torah family living. It's about letting Torah affect our daily lives, from mealtime to bedtime, homeschooling to farm chores.


Friday, September 3, 2010

Healing, Part 5

I have really been grappling with the connection between sin and sickness. Last week's torah portion included Deuteronomy 28, 68 verses of blessings and cursings. If you obey you will be blessed. If you disobey, you will have miscarriages, plagues, terrible itch, boils, etc. It really makes sense when you think about it. The best way to get my attention is to make me feel yucky or in pain. I'll think twice about doing something if I know it will bring discomfort to me.

So YHVH sends us sickness, disease, pain, when we sin. I have been discovering sins and repenting for two solid months, and I thought I was a good person. I feel lighter and more confident in the throne room with each sin I discard. At first, I set out to get my C-section scar healed. I am still seeking that, but what I have gained as I repented is far better.

I thought I'd list some sins that I had to deal with. If you are in a position where you are also seeking to clean house, perhaps this list will trigger something in your life, too.

Unforgiveness towards my husband
Unforgiveness towards other people that mistreated me
Violation of the niddah laws
Inappropriate entertainment, ie movies
Bitterness
Impatience
Lack of a daily relationship with the Father
Selfishness
How dare you attitude
Unsubmissiveness
Self-righteousness
Blaming others
Laziness
Procrastination
Fear
Unbelief
Failure to apologize

Okay, that's enough. These sins caused physical problems in my life. Now that I am dealing with them and forsaking them, those physical problems are leaving or improving. And I'm scared to return to those sins. I don't want headaches that make me nauseous. I don't want my legs to hurt so much that it's hard to get out of a chair.

I hope that we all can come out a little purer as we prepare our hearts for the fall feasts. The feasts are more than blowing a shofar and building a sukkah. It's about becoming a pure and holy bride, ready for the bridegroom. The Father is so merciful. He gives us so much time to repent. But when we delay, we are only hurting ourselves.

Create in me a clean heart, O YHVH; and renew a right spirit within me.
(Psa 51:10)

Shabbat Shalom and happy heart cleaning!

2 comments:

The Heaton Family said...

WOW, sister! this is just where Yah has me too - looking at the spiritual roots of disease/sickness - ever since the month of Elul. I am excited to see where He leads me (and now you) as we continue toward the High Holy days!

Can you say freedom!!!

Andi said...

Heidi,
This has been a great post to read, often times I will remember a sin unrepented, and then think ok that is it...with out taking that closer look....hmmmmm....we all are required to look one more time....
Thank you and Shalom!

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