What is my blog about? It's about Torah family living. It's about letting Torah affect our daily lives, from mealtime to bedtime, homeschooling to farm chores.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Trying to have a thankful heart

Lambing season can be very rough sometimes.  All the cute little baby animals are so adorable. But sometimes it is hard. It is hard when you hold a baby in your arms and realize that all you did to help them just wasn't enough. You rub and rub, hoping to see some spark of life, but there isn't one. You cry out in despair. Why couldn't we save this one? If only I had been a little quicker. I don't understand.

But I must conclude that there is still a God in heaven. He loves me. Does His heart break every time one of his lambs is lost? Perhaps to truly understand life, we must sometimes experience death. And in the midst of our agony, we must choose to still praise, to still thank.

So, with tears streaming down my face, I praise YHVH.
He has given me so much. I have a wonderful family that is all safe, sleeping peacefully in their beds. My husband loves me no matter what, even when I'm not very loveable. I have eight healthy baby animals out in the barn. It is Shabbat, and I am free to keep it.

The pain doesn't vanish, but I am comforted to know that I am safe in the hands of my Heavenly Father. His lap is big, and He never tires of drying my tears. I know He will comfort you whenever you have a heavy burden.


lusi said...

Love you Heidi!
Thanks for the reminder to give thanks to Him no matter what.
Sorry for your loss.
Thinking of you,
Love Lusi x

Andi said...

I have tear now....thank you for a wonderful reminder...may HE fill you with Shalom!

Mommy Set Free said...

I am crying with you. We lost our dog today. I just spent an hour crying with my daughter (Hailey) on the couch together after the whole house has gone to bed...AS we remenissed about all the things were thnakful for in Shiloh's time with us. We wanted it to be longer, but we had to accept that we don't always get what what we want and just allow that grieving process to run its course. At the end of the day - we are still so blessed beyond measure.

Shalom Sweet Sister!

Heidi said...

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. Pam, may Yah send you peace, too. I'm very sorry to hear your news.

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